The Dartz Black Alligator Has A Face Only A Mother Could Love

by Adam Lynton
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With a Kevlar-coated titanium body upon request.
When you’re a bespoke bullet-proof ‘opulent’ SUV maker located in Latvia making cars to order for the world’s maddest billionaires and dictators, things don’t always go to plan. A few weeks ago we exclusively revealed Dartz had been working on a $30,000 steering wheel for its upcoming Prombron Black Alligator. The plan was to drive the car before it was unveiled at the end of November and now, well, it’s almost 2017 and the car has yet to be completed. However, Leo assures me he is close. Very close.
The Dartz Black Alligator Has A Face Only A Mother Could Love
In the spirit of giving this holiday season, Leo has gifted us these images of the new car’s front end. The Mercedes GLS63 AMG-based Black Alligator will come cloaked in Kevlar and carbon fiber, while clients demanding a bullet-proof variant will receive Kevlar-coated titanium body panels that provide “an excess of bulletproof abilities.” Every car will be made to buyer’s exact specifications. So if they want a steering wheel encrusted with 292 black diamonds and two rubies that’s what they’ll get. Another client has requested “a militarized car” and we’re praying Leo interprets that as meaning “must have hood-mounted Uzis.”

The Dartz Black Alligator Has A Face Only A Mother Could Love
Under the custom hood, Dartz will gladly up output of the 5.5-liter twin-turbo V8 to as much as 1,600 hp and 1,100 lb-ft of torque, while the interior comes standard with Mississippi leather.

The Dartz Black Alligator Has A Face Only A Mother Could Love
Leo assures us that “the wild animal was hunted down personally by our supplier Henry.” Good work, Henry. Other exotic leathers on offer include stingray, ostrich python, as well as shark-skin floor mats, although there’s no word on whether that’s handled by Henry. The key has also been painstakingly crafted matching the gater leather and comes in its own special box imitating a helicopter flight recorder box. Upon request, Dartz will deliver this with the car stuffed with caviar. We wouldn’t expect anything less. Look out for the completed car in the new year.

The Dartz Black Alligator Has A Face Only A Mother Could Love
The Dartz Black Alligator Has A Face Only A Mother Could Love
The Dartz Black Alligator Has A Face Only A Mother Could Love
The Dartz Black Alligator Has A Face Only A Mother Could Love
The Dartz Black Alligator Has A Face Only A Mother Could Love
The Dartz Black Alligator Has A Face Only A Mother Could Love
The Dartz Black Alligator Has A Face Only A Mother Could Love
The Dartz Black Alligator Has A Face Only A Mother Could Love
The Dartz Black Alligator Has A Face Only A Mother Could Love



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by Adam Lynton
The Dartz Black Alligator Has A Face Only A Mother Could Love